Letter 21
14/02/23 14:29
My Dearest Bunty,
What a carry on in the House today! As I write Sir Hector is stamping about in the rose bed and I am sure there is steam coming out of his ears! We are in a dreadful state and I have summoned the doctor to the house as soon as he is able. It is the Worcester Sauce Food Scare I am talking about that the Food Standards Agency has announced today. Thankfully Sir H and I have broadband access and we were able to see a list of the products that have been contaminated by 'Sudan I' and who would have thought that our dear Sauce of choice on toasted cheese would be contaminated? And by something used to polish my favourite oxblood brogues of all things. I shall never look on those sensible shoes in the same light ever again.
Not only that but Sir H has had to confess to having a stock of Pot Noodles in one of the potting sheds and these too are not fit for human consumption. He did not take it well when I asked if they EVER have been safe for consumption. I ask you! All those wonderful meals prepared by Dear Cook and New Cook are not enough for him. I often wonder if these snack foods contain crack cocaine or indeed nicotine, as they are addictive to the masses. I myself have never knowingly eaten from one of these 'boil-kettle-wait-eat' dishes and now I shall never even look at them. However I am devastated that Worcester Sauce has been contaminated too, it is my favourite as you know: sprinkled lightly across best Scottish Cheddar late in the evening during the winter. Indeed Sir H swears that it is the secret ingredient for curing a potential sore head from too many malts, but I am not sure! There will be very little left for us to be able to eat safely if these food scares carry on and indeed how I long for some potted hough in little plastic dishes that the local butcher used to create until the last Foot and Mouth scare. The world is going mad! I even here that there are now Ethiopian restaurants springing up in London these days. I could never bring myself to eat in a restaurant offering fare from a country so recently devastated by plague and famine. It just does not seem proper.
This letter is turning out to be all about food so I will tell you that New Cook has turned out to be a diamond in the rough and her skills with pot and pan and pickling jar are even putting Dear Cook to shame. What great dishes she has prepared for us over the last weeks and she has not turned out to be one of those secret health cooks, as there is not a single dish where cream could be spared that she does not lavish with love, attention and double creams! I cannot wait to see what her Eve's and Summer Puddings will be like as these simple but delicious puddings remain Sir H's favourite in the long summer evenings. I only hope that our fruit bushes and orchard can sustain her obvious pudding skills!
I shall have to run down to Mrs Sian at the Post Office with the list of foodstuffs contaminated and help her take them off the shelves if she has any. Perhaps I shall also encourage her not to restock safe versions of the Pot Noodle variety, but if she has to, then I shall insist that she does NOT push them on to Sir H, the silly old fool that he is. Men are such strange creatures of habit, but how would you know about that? Take it from me they are, but this habit will be more difficult to wean him from than those dreadful Benson & Hedges he used to smoke before I insisted he move to a less tarry version, and although this has not cleared his chest, at least I know there are a few more good years left in him now that could have been taken from me if he had kept on them. Thankfully Little Flora and Young Alexander are not smokers or I would spend my last years worrying about them and addictions, but they seem only addicted to world travel and avoiding a career choices!
Yours as always, Flora
This story first appeared on www.panetwork.co.uk in 2005
What a carry on in the House today! As I write Sir Hector is stamping about in the rose bed and I am sure there is steam coming out of his ears! We are in a dreadful state and I have summoned the doctor to the house as soon as he is able. It is the Worcester Sauce Food Scare I am talking about that the Food Standards Agency has announced today. Thankfully Sir H and I have broadband access and we were able to see a list of the products that have been contaminated by 'Sudan I' and who would have thought that our dear Sauce of choice on toasted cheese would be contaminated? And by something used to polish my favourite oxblood brogues of all things. I shall never look on those sensible shoes in the same light ever again.
Not only that but Sir H has had to confess to having a stock of Pot Noodles in one of the potting sheds and these too are not fit for human consumption. He did not take it well when I asked if they EVER have been safe for consumption. I ask you! All those wonderful meals prepared by Dear Cook and New Cook are not enough for him. I often wonder if these snack foods contain crack cocaine or indeed nicotine, as they are addictive to the masses. I myself have never knowingly eaten from one of these 'boil-kettle-wait-eat' dishes and now I shall never even look at them. However I am devastated that Worcester Sauce has been contaminated too, it is my favourite as you know: sprinkled lightly across best Scottish Cheddar late in the evening during the winter. Indeed Sir H swears that it is the secret ingredient for curing a potential sore head from too many malts, but I am not sure! There will be very little left for us to be able to eat safely if these food scares carry on and indeed how I long for some potted hough in little plastic dishes that the local butcher used to create until the last Foot and Mouth scare. The world is going mad! I even here that there are now Ethiopian restaurants springing up in London these days. I could never bring myself to eat in a restaurant offering fare from a country so recently devastated by plague and famine. It just does not seem proper.
This letter is turning out to be all about food so I will tell you that New Cook has turned out to be a diamond in the rough and her skills with pot and pan and pickling jar are even putting Dear Cook to shame. What great dishes she has prepared for us over the last weeks and she has not turned out to be one of those secret health cooks, as there is not a single dish where cream could be spared that she does not lavish with love, attention and double creams! I cannot wait to see what her Eve's and Summer Puddings will be like as these simple but delicious puddings remain Sir H's favourite in the long summer evenings. I only hope that our fruit bushes and orchard can sustain her obvious pudding skills!
I shall have to run down to Mrs Sian at the Post Office with the list of foodstuffs contaminated and help her take them off the shelves if she has any. Perhaps I shall also encourage her not to restock safe versions of the Pot Noodle variety, but if she has to, then I shall insist that she does NOT push them on to Sir H, the silly old fool that he is. Men are such strange creatures of habit, but how would you know about that? Take it from me they are, but this habit will be more difficult to wean him from than those dreadful Benson & Hedges he used to smoke before I insisted he move to a less tarry version, and although this has not cleared his chest, at least I know there are a few more good years left in him now that could have been taken from me if he had kept on them. Thankfully Little Flora and Young Alexander are not smokers or I would spend my last years worrying about them and addictions, but they seem only addicted to world travel and avoiding a career choices!
Yours as always, Flora
This story first appeared on www.panetwork.co.uk in 2005